a void that spells void

they told me I need my marriage license
I don’t
but they convinced me I do
the picture is bad
my face is fat
my body is fat
it’s lucky I’m beautiful
it is not yet time for me to have a REAL ID
now I have flimsy paper
and a plastic card with voids in it that spell void
I took a vacation day, for this?
I suppose
I don’t want to be invalid for my birthday

Strawberries and robot

I got my dad a robot vacuum. I’m surprised by how pleased we are with it. They don’t come from the factory with googly eyes. I’m not sure why, it is much improved.

The spring weather is beautiful and I’m harvesting delicious strawberries from the yard.

I’m learning Toki Pona with the husband creature.

I’m fully vaccinated and struggling a little emotionally with re-entry.

Home Office

This is my home office machine setup.

In the corner you can see a plant on a milkcrate (those are my milkcrate cubbies) at some point I’ll upgrade to ‘real furniture’ but I have a fondness for milkcrates I will not deny. Not pictured, I have two chairs, one is a kneeling chair and one is a rolly chair, bungee style that ET has lent me. It is glorious. My most recent upgrade was the humidifier. It’s real nice. The wooden box my laptop is on was an upgrade from a cardboard box. It is all coming together, slowly but surely.

I’m sharing because I’m proud of it. I haven’t blogged in a bit.

I am teaching a course at the Missouri iSchool. It is online and I’m finding it rather wonderful. Grading is hard, but the students are wonderful and the content is compelling and fun to teach.

Pumpkin time in a pandemic

Halloween is ET’s favorite holiday. It is my second favorite. I carved the above cat butt pumpkin.

Our pandemic house guest (house mate? Is that upgrade automatic after visiting since February?) carved this:

Angela Davis Black Lives Matter pumpkin

A few of the pumpkins were sourced from Eckerts farm. They have apple picking and pretty good social distancing / mask requirements. A few of the pumpkins came from a shop down the road, flowers and weeds, which accommodated us with curbside pumpkin purchasing.

Last night ET and I went on a wonderful drive to see various decorated houses around the city.


was our guide and it was fantastic.

Punch a Nazi?

My heart is warmed by so many friends denouncing white supremacy. I denounce it. I also acknowledge that I have profited from white supremacy. The system is rigged, and it is rigged in my favor. I can’t absolve myself from profiting in a rigged system by simply denouncing white supremacy. I must also acknowledge that our society isn’t only historically racist, but that it is currently racist, and I must work to change that. I won’t hold being a woman as a shield to deny the ways American social norms are rigged in my favor.

I am trying my best to go beyond being just NOT racist. I actively strive to be ANTI-racist. It hurts to think about how what I have isn’t just because I’ve earned it, but because the game isn’t fair. So, I am finding ways to work to make the world more just.

If you think the quality of a person can be divined from their race, their gender, their sexuality, you’re a shitty person who is wrong and I am happy to stand in opposition to you and your shitty beliefs.

We have to work together to dismantle injustice in our society. We have to acknowledge it for the problem it is. We have to acknowledge who it profits and how. I’m happy to loudly denounce white supremacy and to act against it as I can. I’m glad so many of my friends are standing up against it too.

I was in an argument ages ago, about how I condone violence against racists. Specifically, how I applaud people who punch them. I was asked how much assault do I condone against them? I answered that I think a person assaulting a nazi should do only so much damage that they can continue to lead their lives. I flippantly answered that they should do as much as they wish, but stop before they can’t later in life choose to run an online anti-nazi craft shop.

I do think racists can reform, grow, and get past their hateful views. Some people help racists grow with propaganda, religion, even friendship, and some people help them with their fists. There are many avenues to encourage change. I’m horrified how emboldened racists are to share their views. I am ashamed that I am unlikely to punch a nazi, because I think society is stronger when racists are afraid.



This is my scoby:

It is gelatinous and turns sweet tea into kombucha. I read an article about kombucha and the author named their scoby Toby, so my scoby is Toby II.

I got a scoby from ebay, as well as these cool flip top bottles.

flavors are:
peach & ginger,
strawberry mint,
mango passionfruit & ginger,
tazo chai concentrate & ginger,
peach & strawberry mint

I tried the tazo chai concentrate tonight. It turned out well. And fizzy! Not super fizzy, but fizzy enough. I am happy with how this project is going.

Kombucha is not the only culture in the house. I’m using instructions from https://www.youbrewkombucha.com/.

Rose has a sourdough that often becomes fun pancake adventures. E.T. is baking bread. He has gone through, no lie, a hundred pounds of flour during this pandemic.

In addition to that, the yard is yielding strawberries. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to get one. Late one-night E.T. witnessed a baby possum gorging itself. I don’t mind sharing the bounty.

We also have an outdoor compost pile in addition to the worms. The bin was an old one from my mom that I drug back from Kansas. She wasn’t using it because it was broken. I fixed it with zip ties!

Another hippie thing I have is this rain barrel. It is very good at catching rain.

So the end of this story is: I’m a hippie. It’s going great. I have a lot of culture.

once upon a bath

a million years ago
it was a day of hard things
I don’t remember the things
but I remember the exhaustion
my apartment didn’t have water
I was tired
you invited me over
you ran a bath
you gave me a glass of wine
I soaked
and your cats looked at me
curious and worried
and one of them let me pet ’em, not minding the water
and that moment is one I can call upon at whim
I revisit
how cared for I felt
how when you said “it’s no trouble”
I believed you
how I let go, and I just soaked

I soaked and your cats looked after me
and you looked after me
and it was magic

A belief in kindness

I think a lot of hate comes from nobility

From need

From denial

I think the world is shaped in part by control and oppression

I worry about what the fireworks might really be about

I have heard conspiracy and I’m inclined to agree

Without proof, without reason

Because the shape of history is shadowing the sun

I hope for kindness

I believe in it

In individual people trying to do right by each other

In institutions and even corporations trying to do the right thing

But they have wrong reason

And I fear the goodness will be lost